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[100%futbol]

My DD loves her coach.  I think he does a good job and have no complaints.  My husband on the other hand.....  He doesn't like our DD's coach.  He doesn't like his personality and his "attitude".  DD'd father wants to move DD to a different team.  DD wants to stay.  My husband is very serious about wanting her to move.  Ideas of what should I do???

 

[Jumbalaya]

100% Ya gotta give a little more info here......is the coach mis treating your DK? Is this just a personality issue between Dad and Coach? Does Dad have legitimate concerns regarding the coaching DK is getting? etc.....

My initial reaction is that if your DK is happy (isn't this what it is all about anyway?), Dad needs to chill unless he has some legitimate issues!

[bigb]

It should be a family decision, it sounds like 2-1 that she should stay.  Is the coach a bad influence on DD? Does he teach DD good soccer skills?  Is DD playing in games?  Is the team winning? Does she have friends on the team?   If it is no on the first question and yes to the last 4 question, then she should stay.

[Flyboy]

My DD played for a coach that demanded full effort.  Some girls didn't give that, so he was honest with them and their parents.  Some parents didn't like it - too mean for precious Suzy, always an excuse, etc.  My DD really liked him though - and to me, it's all about her happiness - not mine.  We stayed.  Eventually enough other parents complained, club took the team away from him.  Result - way worst coach came in, team disintegrated.  Be careful what you wish for!

My advice - if DD is happy, stay.

[100%futbol]

100% Ya gotta give a little more info here......is the coach mis treating your DK? Is this just a personality issue between Dad and Coach? Does Dad have legitimate concerns regarding the coaching DK is getting? etc.....

My initial reaction is that if your DK is happy (isn't this what it is all about anyway?), Dad needs to chill unless he has some legitimate issues!

Coach treats my DD like a daughter.  He is loving but firm with her.  
Dad thinks coach is arrogrant.  Coach is a bit self centered but I tell my husband that we want a confident coach to guide our daughter.  Dad just doesn't like to be around him.  Team partys and things like that.. It is kind of sad, I think schmuk is a word my husband uses when he describes coach (not around DD of course!) My husband's joke is "he just needs a phone and a cup of coffee, then he will be the perfect coach"
Sometimes I think it would be better to move her so everyone can enjoy the soccer experience.  Husband really likes the other parents though, I think that is why he only complains about the coach and does not just pull her off the team.

Thank you for the advise

[HuskyDawg]

This isn't about dear old dad but the kid.  You say she's happy and it sounds like she's getting better....If that's the case what more can you ask for?  This is her experience, not his. 

[Jumbalaya]

100% Ya gotta give a little more info here......is the coach mis treating your DK? Is this just a personality issue between Dad and Coach? Does Dad have legitimate concerns regarding the coaching DK is getting? etc.....

My initial reaction is that if your DK is happy (isn't this what it is all about anyway?), Dad needs to chill unless he has some legitimate issues!

Coach treats my DD like a daughter.  He is loving but firm with her.  
Dad thinks coach is arrogrant.  Coach is a bit self centered but I tell my husband that we want a confident coach to guide our daughter.  Dad just doesn't like to be around him.  Team partys and things like that.. It is kind of sad, I think schmuk is a word my husband uses when he describes coach (not around DD of course!) My husband's joke is "he just needs a phone and a cup of coffee, then he will be the perfect coach"
Sometimes I think it would be better to move her so everyone can enjoy the soccer experience.  Husband really likes the other parents though, I think that is why he only complains about the coach and does not just pull her off the team.

Thank you for the advise

I have no idea if this is the case, but sometimes with good athletes/coaches there is a confidence about them that can (or possibly is) be perceived as arrogance. If the Coach is teaching the kids well and they are responding to the training/coaching, then let the other petty stuff roll off your shoulders. Let's face it, we all have different personalitys and that is why we are not best friends with everybody!

[loyal fan]

My DD loves her coach.  I think he does a good job and have no complaints.  My husband on the other hand.....  He doesn't like our DD's coach.  He doesn't like his personality and his "attitude".  DD'd father wants to move DD to a different team.  DD wants to stay.  My husband is very serious about wanting her to move.  Ideas of what should I do???

 

Wow, that is a tough situation you are in.  I'm sure it makes for some uncomfortable moments between you and your husband, especially at team get togethers and games.  My instinct here would be to weigh the pros and cons.  If your daughter is getting playing time, likes her teammates and her coach, and she is improving along with being overall satisfied with her own soccer experience, then I would say she should probably stay.  If on the other hand, your husband has other reasons for not wanting her on the team anymore, maybe you should look at all the reasons for staying and for going and come up with a family decision about it.  I would just be very hesitant to pull her from a team where she is happy.  It could backfire.

[MA]

I have to agree with Husky Dawg. If there is nothing that you see going on that is "wrong" and DD is happy and learning........ it shouldnt be about what Dad wants. 

[yote19]

Man in our family dad wishes that he was made of money and could dish it out all of the time to wife and kids, but they all know it is never going to happen....they don't boot me out the door for wishing.

[livingthedream]

My DD's coach is someone who is referred to frequently on this forum when discussing questionable coach behavior, but the bottome line is she LOVES playing for him and says she never wants to play for anybody else. Opinions about him are always extreme, aka hate or love, but I decided from the first day that she started to play for him that as long as my DD loves playing for him and he's not damaging her in any way then that's where she'll stay. I've told him personally on more than one occasion that there are times I'd love to punch him in the face (half joking) cause he's so arrogant and drives me nuts, but it's really not important how I feel about him as long as my DD is becoming a better player and is still loving soccer. My DD has only played for a little over 2 yrs, but the biggest problem I've seen so far is that on too many occasions the kids are being forgotten in all this.  My advice would be that as long as your DD is happy where she's at and it's in no way harming her, then let it be and tell dad to find some extra curricular activities of his own. This is about his DD, not him.

[Gumby]

My DD's coach is someone who is referred to frequently on this forum when discussing questionable coach behavior, but the bottome line is she LOVES playing for him and says she never wants to play for anybody else. Opinions about him are always extreme, aka hate or love, but I decided from the first day that she started to play for him that as long as my DD loves playing for him and he's not damaging her in any way then that's where she'll stay. I've told him personally on more than one occasion that there are times I'd love to punch him in the face (half joking) cause he's so arrogant and drives me nuts, but it's really not important how I feel about him as long as my DD is becoming a better player and is still loving soccer. My DD has only played for a little over 2 yrs, but the biggest problem I've seen so far is that on too many occasions the kids are being forgotten in all this.  My advice would be that as long as your DD is happy where she's at and it's in no way harming her, then let it be and tell dad to find some extra curricular activities of his own. This is about his DD, not him.

+1 Karma for you! 
100%... you could do a lot worse than listen to this sage advice.

[seriously?]

I think as long as the dd is safe with the coach then the important thing is that the dd is having fun, learning and getting to play.  Sometimes we CP need to remember it's not about us.  The only way I would remove dd from a coach that she liked and a team with her friends is if I was concerned for her well being.

[Great Dane]

Think of it this way...if you're DD was not alive, would you be going to soccer practices and games?  Probably not.  Therefore, when looking at it like that it's easy to understand the soccer is ALL ABOUT YOUR DD.  So, if she is happy and the situation she is in is not hindering her chances of making her goals and dreams come true (without her really realizing it), then all is good and the parent(s) just need to be happy their DD is happy. 

Btw, notice I said "HER goals and dreams"...not the parents.  As parents I think we need to guide our kids just enough to make sure they keep their options open and are putting themselves in positions that will allow them to still chase their stated goals and dreams, but as parents we shouldn't cross the line and push them into things simply to satisfy what we envision for their future.  There's a bid difference. We need to help them understand how certain decisions they will need to make along the way MAY impact her ability to achieve the things she desires, then let her decide what she wants to do.  So, if your kid is happy and she's not doing anything that is closing doors to potential future paths SHE may want to travel down, then like I said - just be happy she is happy because that is why she's playing soccer.

[Shu's Daddy]

Is there another coach already lined up that your husband wants her to play for?  There are no guarantee's the next situation is any better than the one you just left and could end up being worse.  I'm withthe others... if your daughter is happy and improving, then dad should suck it up and support his daughter.  We've had arrogant coaches and I can certainly understand where your husband is coming from, but ... (see above, daughter is happy and improving, etc.) then leave her where she is. 

[Custmguru]

Realistically, as long as the situation isn't dangerous (mentally, physically, or emotionally) then it should be the players choice alone. As a parent, it's tough to see your kid in a less than idea situation, but you have to think they know to a degree what's best for them.

I am not 100% on board with EVERY choice our coach has made, and there have been times we wondered whether we should leave. Everytime the decision came up, it was our daughter's choice and she chose to stay everytime. Once was because she knew this team was taking her where she wanted to go, all the other times it was the loyalty to the other girls and the depth of her commitment to this team. After the years we've had with her team, I'm standing by her choice and I'm intensly proud of her loyalty and commitment. I just wish EVERY parent raised thier kids to believe in, and honor thier commitments and promises to thier team.

[Sybil]

100% Ya gotta give a little more info here......is the coach mis treating your DK? Is this just a personality issue between Dad and Coach? Does Dad have legitimate concerns regarding the coaching DK is getting? etc.....

My initial reaction is that if your DK is happy (isn't this what it is all about anyway?), Dad needs to chill unless he has some legitimate issues!

Coach treats my DD like a daughter.  He is loving but firm with her.  
Dad thinks coach is arrogrant.  Coach is a bit self centered but I tell my husband that we want a confident coach to guide our daughter.  Dad just doesn't like to be around him.  Team partys and things like that.. It is kind of sad, I think schmuk is a word my husband uses when he describes coach (not around DD of course!) My husband's joke is "he just needs a phone and a cup of coffee, then he will be the perfect coach"
Sometimes I think it would be better to move her so everyone can enjoy the soccer experience.  Husband really likes the other parents though, I think that is why he only complains about the coach and does not just pull her off the team.

Thank you for the advise

Is there other options you could go to for another team?  I know its for the children but it makes for a long year if the parents are unhappy to.  Just a thought!

[100%futbol]

I am sure there are other teams we can take her to.  She really loves her coach though so I told my husband that we should keep her where she is, for now.  If he does not like the coach that much...then stay away from him.  We all have to deal with people we do not like.  How we handle the meetings, defines us a people and parents.  He has agreed and said that he will "chill" out a bit.     Thank you for the ammo...  I was able to show him the different opinions and I think he saw the situation through different eyes.

[purplepeopleeater]

wonderful Karma point for acting like an adult!  lol