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[Night creature]

My grandson after fours years of playing for the same club and team found out something I decided to share with y'all. He has started the entire time never leaving the field and been a captian of his team for a couple years. Having been very sick the week before tryouts was not a 100% for them, he figured he was in trouble. But always in the past he had been told by the end of the second tryout he made the team prior to it being posted. This time it was different, after the first day he knew he was in troulbe a step slow and timing off. He asked the  coach the second day if he could be told one way or the other. He was told no and that at that time he was one of twenty competing for his position. We knew that tryouts for the other local  clubs ended the next day so figured he would be going the next day. Instead the coach kept him playing full field for the entire two hours with only three 1 minute breaks. I found out he threw up twice before the end of the tryout, but he was told if he wanted to make it he better keep going. When I picked him up he told me what had happeded crying thinking his days with his team were over and knowing he was to sick to the play the next day. I called a friend who told me not to tell anyone but that he had made it against the advice of the coach. He would be on another team but would play. There were sixty kids looking to get at the most 15 openings above and beyond those that had played and were safe from the year before. Most were not told and had to wait three days for the posting.  My friend put everything into perspective. He said these clubs have no loyalty to the kids or families. If some one better shows up goodby. If your kid tries his heart out but something is wrong fix it yourself the coaches don't have time and they will replace your kid. And lastly this man said some coaches are arrogant idiots and probable should not be coaching.

[the other soccer momma]

Sounds dreadfully familiar.....our son just had an almost identical experience, though not including the illness.  Sounds like your grandson is an amazing kid, to rise to the occasion, despite his illness and doubt.  

We have found in the days following tryouts that help and support come from surprising places and  have found out who our son's true supporters are.  I can only tell you that being there for your grandson is the greatest gift you can give him right now.  Let him have time to recover, but always be available if he wants to talk.

As it turns out, youth soccer can be a cruel place where hard work and character are not as important as other agendas

[meluvsoccer]

Learn from this. I hope that next year you think back as to what the happened here with this 'club' and really think hard about going back.  I do not know which club it is, but I have my suspicions.  But regardless of the club, you need to take into consideration what happened.

On the other hand, I sure hope your grandson told the coach that he was sick before tryouts.  That makes a difference in how a coach responds to the player (or it should).

[Big Youth]

One thing to keep in mind about the application of loyalty to the tryout process is that at least some of the clubs have tryout rules that require the coaches to take the best players, subject to complying with the State's returning player rules to keep a Premier league slot.  These rules may necessitate cutting a returning player if a better player shows up at tryouts.

Why do such rules exist?  One reason is that the promise to the best players is that the best team will be formed to help them develop.  This may require changes to the roster at tryouts.  Another reason is that the team doesn't belong forever to the first 16 boys who make the team in the first year, and it doesn't belong to the coach.  It belongs to the Association who usually gives the premier club certain advantages to run the Association's premier program.  The quid pro quo is that when kids from the Association show up to tryout for the team, the have the same chance to make it as the Association kids who already were on the team.

Another thing to keep in mind is that the kids are free agents, and can choose to leave their team at any point.  The only balancing right of the team is to make changes at tryout time.

[Always Learning]

To some extent, they are "free agents" that can leave at any time.  However, we sign contracts that tell us we are still financially responsible to the club/team if you leave.  In addition, players are treated horribly by their former coaches and team-mates when they do move.  I know this discussion has been raised before, and I do not believe players should move after accepting a spot, but I have now learned the awful truth about select soccer.  This is that the loyalty to the players and the loyalty to the team; just isn't there.  Yes, March is the time for movement.  During try-outs players should be honest with their coaches and tell them they are looking at other options, also during this time coaches should be honest with players and tell them when they are also looking.

I think about professional athletes who move around for more money and show no loyality to teams.  Fans are furious when an A-Rod leaves for cash, but are all behind a player getting cut when they aren't producing expected results (doing what they are paid to do).  I must then ask myself, is YOUTH select soccer (or any youth sport) a reflection of society's attitude towards professional sports.  This just seems ugly to me.  Instead I remind all of the kids that it is just a game, until it involves a shoe deal, it is just a game you PLAY!  

No, my kid wasn't cut,  and was offered a spot on his dream team.  So this isn't out of bitterness.  It is just a reflection of some crazy parent's observations (mine).  I guess we are one of the lucky ones, both my son and I have always remained friends with the families from former teams...even  when he was cut.  This was because those families continued to make us feel welcome.  Therefore, I believe that the family of the player who is still on the team reaches out to the ones that were let go.  Be an example to your child of empathy, compassion, and true friendship.

Sorry about the length of this post, but after a year of reading the comments of others, I finally decided it was time to share my thoughts.

[vms]

Agreed Big Youth. The coach should pick those players that fit HIS idea of  style. HOWEVER, a coach needs to be sensitive to the needs of the player and inform them if they are on the bubble. A kid who misses making other teams because they have not been apprised are then left to FIND a team,to play for when most rosters are set. It is ABSOLUTELY unfair to do that to a kid. The lesson learned is that my son will tryout for multiple teams next year!!

[vms]

Total agreement with you Always Learning

[soccermama]

The sad truth is that even when kind words, empathy and support are given they aren't always accepted, and that, can be just as hurtful and confusing for the families reaching out.  It isn't just the players and families that don't make a team that suffer during this process.

Sometimes when the olive branch is extended it isn't always accepted.   :cry:

[Big Youth]

Agreed Big Youth. The coach should pick those players that fit HIS idea of  style. HOWEVER, a coach needs to be sensitive to the needs of the player and inform them if they are on the bubble. A kid who misses making other teams because they have not been apprised are then left to FIND a team,to play for when most rosters are set. It is ABSOLUTELY unfair to do that to a kid. The lesson learned is that my son will tryout for multiple teams next year!!

I agree with the notion that bubble players should be notified of their status.  I know of one very successful coach in VMS' former club who tells returning players who he believes to be bubble players before the tryouts begin.  If other returners become bubble players because of the turn out at tryouts, he informs them as well.  

Unfortunately, I'm aware of several instances where Lee has not advised returning players of their status until the cuts are announced.  I don't think James is any better in that regard.

[gunnar04]

gotta keep on keepinn on. no room in this sportt for wimps

[edmonds55]

gotta keep on keepinn on. no room in this sportt for wimps

Gunnar,  I hope you realize you just got my memory going, and  are you aware of the Brady Bunch album with their megahit "Keep On" , do you want the new lyrics,  if you do I will provide although this may hit a new low in my musical/lyrical soccer journey.  

[sccraddict]

To some extent, they are "free agents" that can leave at any time.  However, we sign contracts that tell us we are still financially responsible to the club/team if you leave.  In addition, players are treated horribly by their former coaches and team-mates when they do move.  I know this discussion has been raised before, and I do not believe players should move after accepting a spot, but I have now learned the awful truth about select soccer.  This is that the loyalty to the players and the loyalty to the team; just isn't there.  Yes, March is the time for movement.  During try-outs players should be honest with their coaches and tell them they are looking at other options, also during this time coaches should be honest with players and tell them when they are also looking.

I think about professional athletes who move around for more money and show no loyality to teams.  Fans are furious when an A-Rod leaves for cash, but are all behind a player getting cut when they aren't producing expected results (doing what they are paid to do).  I must then ask myself, is YOUTH select soccer (or any youth sport) a reflection of society's attitude towards professional sports.  This just seems ugly to me.  Instead I remind all of the kids that it is just a game, until it involves a shoe deal, it is just a game you PLAY!  

No, my kid wasn't cut,  and was offered a spot on his dream team.  So this isn't out of bitterness.  It is just a reflection of some crazy parent's observations (mine).  I guess we are one of the lucky ones, both my son and I have always remained friends with the families from former teams...even  when he was cut.  This was because those families continued to make us feel welcome.  Therefore, I believe that the family of the player who is still on the team reaches out to the ones that were let go.  Be an example to your child of empathy, compassion, and true friendship.

Sorry about the length of this post, but after a year of reading the comments of others, I finally decided it was time to share my thoughts.

I for one am glad that you decided to share your thoughts.  That was very well said.  I am lucky that my kids have both been able to play on the teams that they have tried out for, but I don't like the stress of tryouts.  I believe that most coaches want their players to be honest with them about what they are doing, and I also believe the coaches should be honest with the kids.  Lead by example.

[meluvsoccer]

I told a parent the other day that I hate tryouts.  He indicated that it was worse for the parents and the worst for players.

As a parent too (not for the teams I coach), I can definitely say that tryouts are a lot more stressful on coaches than parents.  
I also believe that they are about as stressful as for the players.

It really has less to do with "Will I be able to improve the team from last year" and more to do with how do I tell a player who has played for me that they will not be joining the team. Or with how can I make my calls in a quick enough fashion that players are not waiting 3 days (or even 2 days) for a call?

As a parent, I know what the kids go through waiting for a call.  So, as a coach, I try to contact them as soon as possible.  I told the players after the last tryout that I would start calling 1 hour, no more than 2 hours after they left.  What happened?  1/2 of the players were not at home.  UGH  :x

Another stressful aspect is those you invite back, those who you have worked all year developing and helping to make a better player. Now, they say, thanks, but no thanks.  I'm going to this 'other' team.  So many in this forum say basically that you only live for yourself.  I don't believe in that.  Yes, I think that you need to improve yourself, that you need to play where there is the best fit, but why all the jumping from team to team (both coaches and players). I think that if we live for each other, we will all end up much better.  I try to do that for my players. Yes, there are tough choices and many arguments, but, if we could all just try...

But, the far worse thing I had to do this year was tell a few of my players that our 2nd team was not forming.  That meant that they were not going to play.  They are now looking for another team, but OH, it was so hard to tell players that I had been coaching for 3-4 years, that now they cannot play.  Not sure how my 'club' would view this. I am hoping that they would approve, but I am working with them to find another team, outside the club. There is no spot here, so why not play somewhere else. They want to play. I want to see them play. They deserve to play.

Sorry, I guess I had to get that out.  Let the healing begin  :?

[falcon]

Gunnar- Please don't get Edmonds55 going on one of his song kicks  !   Although, if he could put together something to go with the Grateful Dead's "Truckin'", I might be interested. Then he could be known as the "Doodah Man"   . Hey, Edmonds, the Dynamo going to be at the Rainier Challenge or Pacific Coast Challenge? Now that the FC Kitsap BU15 Red- whoops, I mean Westsound FC- has become "legitimate" as a P2 team, we might see you there. The team is also traveling to Minnesota for the USA Cup tournament in July. Anyone else out there heading that direction?