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[2muchsoccer]

Since we have been in try outs for several weeks and listening to all the blah, blah, blah on the fields it got me thinking of some stuff~

Would you prefer your DK's coach to simply stick to coaching OR would you prefer the coach to be your friend.
For instance, my complaint and what I have been hearing --

You start the season, you head out to the big tourney, while at the hotel you observe Jane's (or little Johnny's)  parents invite the coach out for a drink....wine and dine....later back to the room for more drinks and being social....turns in to several weeks later coach is out at their BBQ....weeks later going out to more resturant adventures....hanging out together on sidelines that are not your DK's....then before you know it you find out much more -- buying "gifts" for the coach here and there....you get the idea.

Then there is you (if you fit this senerio), you keep your mouth shut. You only talk to the coach in passing (hi/bye/great game, etc). Regardless if you have time or not, money or not, you simply keep a distance.
Then you have an "issue". You see little Jane or little Johnny begin to have a TON of play time, they may be bottom 12, or they come to the games late and start, or they miss practices and always start, there is clearly a "bitch" about the issue you are having --
Wouldn't this be considered political?
You can make it however you make it, or create an issue wherever in this senerio, but in the end...

Shouldn't a coach just stick to coaching so that the senerio NOT happen and ALL players (and parents especially, I mean c'mon) FEEL like they are ALL we well deserved without having to be their best friend and buy them stuff???

OR do you want to hang out with your DK's coach and become their best friend???

** and going out to meet the coach somewhere to discuss your DK for whatever reason SHOULDN'T always mean you have to go "out to eat" either. What is wrong with the field??? Raining, use an umbrella  

[Texasgirl]

You could invite this coach out for drinks and then say " So I understand this is the best way to get your attention."  Maybe the coach would get the point and ya'll can laugh it off?  Just idea.

I have gone out for drinks with my coach.  Never one on one.  Always in a group.  So I guess I can't really feel what your feeling.  Does seem odd.  I would be more concerned the coach can be persued this way then blaming the DD's parents.

[Dragon]

each coach is different.  Some coachs don't socialize at all, that is prob better in a big club environment imho.

Don't have a prob with a coach that "partys with parents" though, long as they do it equally :lol:

[cheese]

Taking the coach to Hooters for a big plate of Fried Pickles always helps.  :twisted:   (I hope ECFC is reading this.)

Friendships can occur and is good, but when it comes to the actual game and practices.......let the coach be a coach and let the CP just be a parent.

[PnutsMama]

For me, I managed teams for two of my daughters.  Did it for quite a few years and multiple coaches, but out of those, only became friends with two coaches and am still friends 4 and 6 years later.  Being friends did not benefit my daughters and if I had seen that it did it would have been addressed by me very quickly.  

I haven't ever coached but I'm sure some of them are hesitant to befriend parents because there are parents that would only do it to benefit their child and once their child isn't getting that added play time or whatever they are expecting, that is when they start making life miserable for the coach.  

[Back In BLACK]

I think the post should be renamed boundaries for cp's for just that reason.... How often do parents kiss butt and when things don't go their way, cause havic and additional pain in coaches backside.  A smart coach will not want to get too close to cp's.

[From the 18's]

I find it interesting when I hear CP's say on the sidelines, "I called Coach...."..." I emailed Coach...." or "I met Coach at Starbucks..."

I understand the need to discuss DK and their performance maybe a couple times throughout the year, but for some, it seems like this is a daily communication! That seems odd to me. This is your DK's coach (most of whom we pay/employ), and although human and in need of friends, too.....kinda one of those awkward friendships. If you are really good at hiding the friendship/socializing off the field, it becomes even more awkward when you see Coach and CP's out together.

Honestly, I guess there is nothing wrong with it. But....seriously....it is awkward, isn't it? I assume we are talking about coaches at the premier level v the volunteer rec coach. Different story there....let's all party together and have a BBQ ! Yeah!

Hey...I am doing taxes...if I invite Coach over to my house enough; provide plenty of wine and spirits;  can I call them a resident employee? :shock:  :lol:

[yharriso]

I think the post should be renamed boundaries for cp's for just that reason.... How often do parents kiss butt and when things don't go their way, cause havic and additional pain in coaches backside.  A smart coach will not want to get too close to cp's.

I agree with you. As a coach you expect that most parents are on the up and up with friendship; though expect some parents are going to be especially "nice" to advance their player.

During tryouts it is not uncommon to witness especially “nice” behavior. For example, when I was running tryouts, certain “nice” parents would bring nourishment to coaches (e.g. lunches, dinners, home-baked goods, among other goodies). On one occasion, I had a parent bring me fresh squeezed orange juice at the end of each tryout. Some parents are truly lovely and it is not until you cut their DK that the “nice” ones with strings attached show true colors (reasonable parents may be disappointed for DK but are realistic and thankful for the honesty).

In my case, to protect ourselves, the coaches in the division would agree on the placements for teams within the division. Parents were informed personally if DK was cut—by divisional, not team coach.   On one occasion I had to deliver the very difficult news for another coach. This coach was extremely apprehensive about the news because this parent had gone to great lengths to organize a successful coach of the year nomination the previous year. When I delivered the bad news, the parent, who wouldn’t say S_ _T if she had a mouth full of it, threatened to sue the coach "after all we have done getting him the award!” There were other choice words coming from their mouths (they took turns on the phone), including threats of a lawsuit. This story is not uncommon and is one reason why coaches never take cutting kids lightly—especially with “nice” CPs. If you are ethical—you do the right thing no matter how nice CPs are to you.  It's also good to have a paper trail and a lawyer on your BOD.

My advice to any coach being "smoozed" by CPs—continue to be human; get involved with your CPs because they want to be involved but make it equitable so that you develop relationships with all of your parents; never cross the professional line by making a decision you know is wrong.

[93soccerdad]

I think the situation is very similar to a work situation where you are the boss (coach) and you need to establish a relationship with your employees (CPs)....

I think if you keep all interactions respectful and the socializing in groups, you are not overstepping any boundaries...and there is very little chance for embarassment or gossip...