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1

WPS - CrazyParents U11-UCrazy -PG13- / Re: A question for any and all coachs out there

« on: April 19, 2009, 04:16:20 PM »

So true...been there, done that, left without the t-shirt...and the saddest part of all, now that we finally see the end of this story, is that the DK in question has completely lost interest and pleasure in the game. and parents are forcing DK to continue to play.  Many parents put blinders on.  They are focused solely on what it is the best interest of their DK - and only their DK - and only as they (the parents) define best interest.  Anyone - coach, parent, DOC, and even other player - who stands in the way of their DK getting selected or getting playing time, is fair game.  Welcome to A team politics. B (and C and D) teams have their brand of politics, too, but it is pretty insignificant compared to what passes for acceptable on A teams.  Coaches who get assigned to A teams need advanced team management skills to sort through this mess.  DOC's need to provide a buffer, so coaches can't be manipulated by parents.  Or, gradually those teams and eventually that club will become a training ground for politics rather than soccer.

2

The Pulse- Full Weekly Issues / 40K Club / Re: Some NWN Coaches and the Board of Directors just can't seem to get along!

« on: April 17, 2009, 01:11:46 PM »

You're absolutely right about that, Yote.  I think, in your non-existent spare time, you would be an awesome person to volunteer for some of these open club BOD positions.  You've got the perspective - parent AND coach - and you've seen the good and the bad - and you don't have a horse in the race anymore.  It takes the good guys/girls, without agendas, and with solid values, to set the course for the kind of club you describe.

SD

3

The Pulse- Full Weekly Issues / 40K Club / Re: Some NWN Coaches and the Board of Directors just can't seem to get along!

« on: April 17, 2009, 01:00:07 PM »

Touchline Trouble and Upper V +1 for passing the lesson called "the ends do not justify the means".    Flip Flop...think about it, please.  You seem loyal and concerned, but while you were supporting your side of the conflict, I think you stopped thinking about the tactics involved (imo).

TS is one of the best coaches I've come across.  I would not characterize him as lacking loyalty.  If I had a younger DS and wanted to make sure he would get the fundamentals down perfectly, and plenty of development, I would run, not walk, to NWN tryouts.  Well done, NWN. 

SD

4

WPS - CrazyParents U11-UCrazy -PG13- / Re: Cranky or just plain mean

« on: April 17, 2009, 12:30:47 PM »

Hey...you guys forget that the SECOND part of my "name" is "dancer".  Even though I have to be "sage" some of the time doesn't mean I don't need a little fun (and sun) too. Tomorrow night, definitely.  Just don't know if celebrating DD's last game will be a champagne or a I-don't-care'what-it-is-as-long-as-it's-on-the-rocks sort of occasion...

SD

Kennard...you could charge big $$ for that mix tape today...

5

WPS - CrazyParents U11-UCrazy -PG13- / Re: Cranky or just plain mean

« on: April 17, 2009, 11:07:09 AM »

Somewhere between Brat and Poolboy: that place where we can disagree about opinions - and learn something new - without personal attacks...love it when another poster writes and says "SD - have to agree to disagree", hate it when posters start name-calling.   I keep thinking, "would you let your kids hear you do that!?!".  I was cringing when I saw the "nastiest rumor" thread (have to disagree with that choice FTB), because I am trying to teach my kid the difference between bad and/or hurtful gossip and healthy disagreement - and also because it DID remind me of GotSoccer  - the home of the nastiest rumors.

6

The Pulse- Full Weekly Issues / 40K Club / Re: Some NWN Coaches and the Board of Directors just can't seem to get along!

« on: April 16, 2009, 06:20:11 PM »

Flip Flop,

Since you asked directly, I will tell you that I have been part of an effort to revise By-Laws in a very minor way for a non-profit organization as a Board Member in the past.  It is a detail-intensive, time-consuming, boring job that I would not wish to do again - and all I had to do was review the proposals put forth from the legal representatives and vote!  It took our Board the better part of 6 months to get everything right - and we were not simultaneously revamping the structure of the Board, dealing with major disciplinary issues, managing significant employee turnover, and coping with a public relations fiasco. 

Frankly, I usually think the State is late to the party, so I don't expect their involvement to speed the process up.  Their participation gives NWN organizational cover, so to speak, because the State's presence in the mix ensures that the Club will remain legitimate, while they address the issues one at a time and in priority order.  I also would guess that promises made about timelines were made before the complexity of the task was fully understood. For example, I think it has only recently become widely recognized that having paid employees serve on a non-profit BOD constitutes a LEGAL conflict of interest (meaning, it isn't legal to do it).  Rewriting the By-Laws when they require such major change is a HUGE job.

Although the General Meeting was not held in the previously-stipulated time window, the fact is that the season governed by the exisiting By-Laws is still not over.  It is unfortunate that last year's Board did not extend the effective dates of the By-Laws when the State announced such a far-reaching change, but I imagine they never anticipated that their own paid coaching staff would exploit a technicality such as this to stage a coup d'etat.  I can only imagine the degree of double- and triple-checking that must be going on now to make sure the By-Laws are so air-tight that there are no more "loose technicalities".

The fact that the State has changed the calendar so that there is no significant time window between State Cup finals and tryouts makes transition between one season and the next more difficult (in fact, a nightmare) for everyone.  And it is a particularly sticky problem for NWN with regard to holding the General Meeting and electing new Board Members to replace the ones who have left.  There is a strong possibility that some of the best new candidates can't be announced yet.

One of my favorite writers once said, "Where there's smoke, there's usually strawberry jello, seldom fire." Because I wouldn't tackle the administrative/legal/governance job over at NWN right now if you paid me the BIG bucks, I'm willing to cut the volunteers who are stepping up some slack on timelines, because I know how much work is involved, and I know how hard it will be to get it done right. 

SD

7

The Pulse- Full Weekly Issues / 40K Club / Re: Some NWN Coaches and the Board of Directors just can't seem to get along!

« on: April 16, 2009, 05:29:40 PM »

Yes, of course, NWN needs to dot the i's and cross the t's (draft and adopt new by-laws) to get themselves all the way through this chapter of their history. WSYSA is partnering  with them to make sure the club gets through this transition, and that's both good and bad.  Good, because oversight at the State level legitimizes their operations while they complete the formalities.  Bad, because the larger the committee, the longer it takes to get this sort of thing accomplished.

But, really, the questions uppermost in the minds of current/potential parents should be "Who is going to coach my kid?  Are they a good coach?  Can I afford to pay for this activity?  Can we as a family make the kind of time commitment necessary to participate?".  And the questions uppermost in the minds of current/potential coaches should be, "Will NWN give me the tools I need to make my players better players?  Is the pay fair?  Is the club financially stable? Will I be able to form a collegial relationship with the coaching director staff and the other coaches at NWN? And what is the current thinking about the composition of the new board?".

Go read what Boo's Daddy has to say about watching his DD play her last game this weekend. I am also watching my DD play her last game this weekend. Hindsight is 20/20, and it is absolutely clear now what matters most.  I have loved watching her play - there have been times when she has danced with the ball with such elegance and athleticism it has taken my breath away.  There have been times when she slept in her uniform the night before big games. There have been times in hotel rooms when she woke and screamed with joy, "I made it!" or "We won!". 

In the midst of the annual tryout turmoil (all my worst memories are tied up in this), please don't lose sight of the fact that soccer is the beautiful game, and we are all lucky to participate.

8

WPS - CrazyParents U11-UCrazy -PG13- / Re: Todd Stauber joins Evergreen coaching staff

« on: April 15, 2009, 02:41:26 PM »

Best of luck to Todd at Evergreen and in all his soccer endeavors!

Todd is not only the best soccer coach my DD has played for - he is also one of the best teachers she has ever had.  She is proud that he chose her for his team, and she is proud to say that she has been coached by him.

Todd brings absolute fairness to the players he coaches.  He is their toughest critic - and also their biggest fan.  If he has already taught a skill or tactic, and knows his player can execute it, he holds them accountable.  When he teaches them something new, he is patient and clear, and will answer all their questions.  He does not compromise on work rate.  He accepts players as they are when he takes on a team, chooses them at tryouts, or agrees to train them privately...and then he works relentlessly to make them better.  In the time my daughter played for him, 10 of 15 players on the original roster were promoted to higher-level teams. You can't judge him as a coach by the performance of one team, because he willingly takes on developmental teams along with top performing teams.

Todd's practices are productive, fast-moving, physically challenging, and most of all - tons of fun!  His special magic is the way he combines humor, intensity, and incredibly hard work to make the game of soccer come alive for his players.  We still find ourselves quoting him around the house.  He has had a permanent positive impact on my daughter's life, and, given the chance, she would play for him again in a heartbeat.

Sage Dancer

9

WPS - CrazyParents U11-UCrazy -PG13- / Re: Prayers Needed

« on: April 13, 2009, 12:26:50 PM »

Someone wisely said,"The price of love is grief."  Without love, however, there would be very little to life.  Prayers for all, and especially Susan's inspiring family, that they will find their way through this dark time of grief and back into a lighter time of love and joy.

SD

10

WPS - CrazyParents U11-UCrazy -PG13- / Re: Boots, how much difference do they make ?

« on: April 09, 2009, 12:44:07 PM »

For DD, it's all about how the boot feels on her foot.  Different shoe brands have different shapes; some are better for narrow feet, others are better for wider feet.  Mens' cleats tend to be "neutral" while womens' are often made to counteract pronation.  Some boots have good padding, others have none at all; padding affects some players, not others.  The cleat pattern on the bottom does make a difference when it comes to ankle rolls.  When my DD puts on the "right" boot, there is a bounce to her step you can see right away.  The "wrong" boot, and she just shrugs.  I love the tradition of cleaning and polishing the boots regularly...goes along with the correct waistband roll for the shorts and the warmups, the correct ponytail, the correct prewrap headband, the correct electrical tape pattern to hold the shinguards in place 

11

WPS - CrazyParents U11-UCrazy -PG13- / Re: Get a Life!!!!

« on: April 08, 2009, 03:23:47 PM »

Warped Dog/Brat:  EXACTLY!  How DARE we be positive towards all the players (aka KIDS) out there giving it their all    We should be ashamed of ourselves for setting such a bad example 

12

WPS - CrazyParents U11-UCrazy -PG13- / Re: Get a Life!!!!

« on: April 08, 2009, 01:14:52 PM »

OK...this just makes me 

I wish every CP had to sign a pledge before DK signs up for ANY SPORT at ANY LEVEL:

1.  I can say whatever I want as long as it is in the car and positive.

2.  I recognize that the kids can't hear me anyway, so I will stick to the half-dozen all-purpose compliments provided by the coach when I attend games.

3.  I promise to call out one compliment per game to a player on the opposing team.

4.  I will be the first to make a joke and/or lol if my kid screws up.

5.  I will tell my kid's teammates how much I enjoy watching them play when I get the chance.

6.  I will make my kid thank the coach(es) for their hard work.

Wish I could make this happen...where is my magic wand when I need it?

Sage Dancer

13

WPS - CrazyParents U11-UCrazy -PG13- / Re: Brat, do we really thank her enough, or realize how much she does for the forum?

« on: April 08, 2009, 01:02:22 PM »

"Brat" = "big heart"
WPS wouldn't be home without her...
SD

14

WPS - CrazyParents U11-UCrazy -PG13- / Re: Tween Girls

« on: April 03, 2009, 11:19:15 AM »

This behavior, left unaddressed, ruins teams.  Period.  It starts with the "tweens" and escalates with the "teens".  The way girls establish social pecking orders involves isolating and excluding others.  You can't be a queen bee without a swarm of drones, and bees who are not welcome in the hive.  That kind of social dynamic can destroy team chemistry in a matter of weeks.  My daughter left one team precisely because of this behavior.  She moved to another team with great chemistry and two rules:  be nice and work hard.   My advice to coaches:  if the girls have enough energy left for 'tude, you aren't working them hard enough.  Sprints...sprints...and more sprints.

SD

15

WPS - CrazyParents U11-UCrazy -PG13- / Re: Dragon's 20,000th Post ~ Goodbye my Friends

« on: April 02, 2009, 01:13:31 PM »

Dragon has given above and beyond to make the soccer community a better place for all involved.  He is not alone, by any means, but he has certainly been one of the most visible and one of the kindest.  A very sincere thank you. And good luck to FTB...you are a brave soul to take this on, and I'm sure you're in for quite a ride...

Sage Dancer

16

WPS - CrazyParents U11-UCrazy -PG13- / Re: Frank the bunny says; "Stop the crazy people" My son has just quit soccer...

« on: March 05, 2009, 12:10:28 AM »

I remember the first time I heard a parent on our team call out to their DD, "Susie, it's a long walk home!"  only to see the girl in question start cracking up...family joke.  Aha moment for me.  My DD is leaving premier soccer at the end of this season (fell in love with another year-round sport, and at the HS level, has to make a choice).  Here's what I wish I had done differently:
1.  Taken more video of each season.  She has never had the pleasure of watching herself play, or seeing the progress she made over the years.  I have the highlight reels in my head, but I can't share those accomplishments with her.'
2.  Learned to relax before the U15 year...dedication and commitment somehow turned into pressure and a one-track focus.   Why, exactly, did I worry so much about being five minutes late, or forgetting something in the kit bag, or nursing my kid obsessively so she would be ready for the "big game" when she was sick? Why did I give up so many family vacations when we (my husband and I) really needed some R & R? 
3.  Known, I mean really known, how fast it would all go - and that it could end at any time - and learned to laugh and cheer and hug and praise at every game and every practice.  What else mattered?
4.  Craziness has a real place.  When the game is out of control, and the kids are at unnecessary risk for injury, no one should back down until the coaches and refs have put things right.  These young athletes have full lives, and a world of potential, and protection from preventable injury is something we ALL owe them.
5.  Bought stock in Under Armour and Nike.

My best to all the CP's out there who are just trying to figure out how to do it "right".


SD
 

17

WPS - CrazyParents U11-UCrazy -PG13- / Re: sad news -more prayers needed

« on: February 28, 2009, 07:52:59 PM »

Although hearts are heavy now, we send our prayers that soon your memories will be a source of great comfort, and that the life of your beloved child will shine brightly forever for all who knew him. 

18

The Pulse- Full Weekly Issues / 40K Club / Re: Some NWN Coaches and the Board of Directors just can't seem to get along!

« on: February 25, 2009, 04:08:04 PM »

Well said, Lurker-Poster-Man...Statewide, and club by club, youth soccer enterprises must increase their understanding of corporate governance.  Many fail to realize that there are limitations in the way non-profits must organize and compensate.  The same folks may also be unaware that if soccer clubs lose their non-profit status, then already-burdensome fees for this activity will increase by 20-40% overnight - to cover the cost of taxes and administration.

Well said, again, to VMS.  The clock is ticking at NWN.  Those coaches who seek greener ($$$) pitches have every right to better their livelihood,  Those who understand they are fortunate to make a living at what they (hopefully) love most will be less interested in attempting to control the purse strings.

I genuinely hope those in a position to influence the timing will understand the position of most parents:  they cannot afford to put "club loyalty" ahead of the best interest of their children.  The parents deserve to know, and know now, who will be coaching the NWN teams next season.
 

19

WPS - CrazyParents U11-UCrazy -PG13- / Re: Prayers Needed

« on: February 25, 2009, 11:50:49 AM »

And from our family, too, Yote...

20

The Pulse- Full Weekly Issues / 40K Club / Re: Some NWN Coaches and the Board of Directors just can't seem to get along!

« on: February 24, 2009, 04:27:57 PM »

Case and point to VMS...

Back in the day, there was another forum, which has mercifully died a timely death, where this kind of personal attack and counterattack was standard fare.  WPS is supposed to be a kinder, gentler place, isn't it?

With all due respect to the intensity of the feelings on both sides, change appears to be underway at NWN - it will suit some, but not all.  Some NWN coaches will move on to other professional opportunities (as happens every year).  The NWN volunteers who feel overworked and underappreciated may choose a less active role.  And so it will go.

And when the dust has settled from tryouts, kids will be playing soccer - we all hope happily.  

21

WPS - CrazyParents U11-UCrazy -PG13- / Re: The murder of a 13 yr. old girl

« on: February 24, 2009, 04:10:52 PM »

This is heartbreaking to read, and even harder to think about.  It is incomprehensible that our society cannot find a way to protect our most vulnerable members from identified predators.  I grieve for the family and for everyone whose life has been diminished by this tragedy.  May God find a way to surround you with love, comfort, and hope in the darkness.

22

General Soccer Talk * College Talk * HS Soccer Talk * Club/State Issues -R- / Re: What does it mean player typical of a West Coast player

« on: February 22, 2009, 02:48:01 PM »

That would be rust 

23

WPS - CrazyParents U11-UCrazy -PG13- / Re: CP needs some insight

« on: February 20, 2009, 02:28:32 PM »

I would guess that most, if not all, DKs eventually find themselves in the middle of a season from h***. My DD has been through two, and based on her experience, I would offer the following advice:

1.  Finish the season.  (worth repeating:  finish the season)
2.  Accept that your DK and your family may not choose to return to this team/coach next season, and start exploring what your options may be for next year.
3.  Line up support for your DK in the meantime - whatever works in terms of building confidence.  My DD did outside training (speed, strength, agility) one time, and private soccer training the other - both with coaches who were demanding, but also great cheerleaders - and it reminded her of why she loves the game, and why she is good at it.  BTW - that reinforcement was much more effective because it did not come from her CPs.
4.  Whatever conversation you have - or the DK has - with the coach has to be pretty diplomatic:  oriented towards "what can I do to help my team more?".
5.  Be classy.  Be positive.  Keep your frustrations off the field, and in the privacy of your family.

To the parent:  this is a teaching opportunity that is one of the most precious you will get.  These are the "life lessons" we hope our kids will get from team sports.  As much as it hurts to watch your kid hurt, if you give them the support they need, they will become stronger people - and you will help them develop self-confidence that won't be shaken by the next teacher/coach/boss who gives them a rough time.  

My DD joins me in offering this advice.  She does not want to live through another season from h***, but she knows she can if she has to, and she knows she has learned priceless things from soccer that have little to do with the game.

SD

24

The Pulse- Full Weekly Issues / 40K Club / Re: Some NWN Coaches and the Board of Directors just can't seem to get along!

« on: February 19, 2009, 05:53:23 PM »

When I ordered new business cards, I titled myself "Supreme Commander", but I still just wind up doing whatever no one else wants to do...titles, schmitles...

25

General Soccer Talk * College Talk * HS Soccer Talk * Club/State Issues -R- / Re: PDL and Greed and the Dissolution of Select

« on: February 18, 2009, 06:50:17 PM »

Brilliant, Metz, brilliant! +5 (if only I could)

26

The Pulse- Full Weekly Issues / 40K Club / Re: Some NWN Coaches and the Board of Directors just can't seem to get along!

« on: February 18, 2009, 11:30:30 AM »

Think Journey may be right about the calm before the storm, if the tone of some posters really represents two strong-minded factions that have yet to find common ground. C'mon NWN, you can do better than this!  It matters less who was wrong or right in the past few weeks...it is critically important where you go from here.

27

WPS - CrazyParents U11-UCrazy -PG13- / Re: Summer Plans or lack of.... a rant and venting exercise.

« on: February 18, 2009, 11:25:12 AM »

Yep...does become a way of life...vacationing in Bellingham, Burlington, and Beaverton...love them all 

If you are planning to return to the same team, and have that kind of relationship with the coach, you can always ask, "What tournaments would you imagine this team might play next summer?"  If you're thinking about new teams, look on their websites and get a feel for the tournament schedule they played last summer.

Had to plan a family wedding last summer...good soccer friend told me to set the date during Regionals, as my DD's team was not entering the Championship Cup. Same with LPT's...if your kids are that age, and you know the team won't be going. Excellent tip!

28

General Soccer Talk * College Talk * HS Soccer Talk * Club/State Issues -R- / Re: PDL and Greed and the Dissolution of Select

« on: February 18, 2009, 12:38:34 AM »

BBD:  I'd love to agree to disagree.  Understand, though, I came late to this love of soccer, and my appreciation for the game and its nuances have taken years to develop.  It would never have happened, but my daughter fell in love with the game at the age of 7 and her father and I followed her interest.  So, you're talking to a convert...who has watched her daughter play against international players in Spain!

I went to my first Husky football game at the age of 7 - attended Rose Bowls - listened to and watched every Seattle Sonic game the year they took the title, followed the Seahawks from year 1 (went to Jim Zorn's wedding, in fact) and have two grandsons who play in the Kirkland Little League.  My son coaches JV football in Kirkland - and my college bf went to two World Championships in rowing for the US National Team.  My DH was a big wave surfer in Hawaii...learned from Duke himself...and gleefully followed my older two kids down the Sudan Couloir at Blackcomb when they were in junior high. 

But you make my point for me, whether you realize it or not, because I was describing the youth game of soccer...which you compared to college/pro sports.  And your passing comparison...on the football field, there are two with this skill.  On the soccer field...22.  When the youth game is played at full speed, those "wide open spaces" you refer to disappear, and it requires split second timing and anticipation to find real openings.  But I couldn't see this for years, and still learn more every time I watch a true international star touch the ball...

I hope you enjoy watching your DDs develop in this sport as much as I have loved the years we have spent with my DD.  She is playing her final season now, and moving on to new athletic horizons.  But she can hardly wait until it is time for her to volunteer to coach her U6's mod team...and we think that's a very happy ending to her story.

29

General Soccer Talk * College Talk * HS Soccer Talk * Club/State Issues -R- / Re: PDL and Greed and the Dissolution of Select

« on: February 17, 2009, 11:30:18 PM »

What Gumby said 

BBD:  What makes soccer different is pretty obvious: the athlete plays the ball with every part of the body EXCEPT the hands.  At a full sprint.  On many different surfaces.  As the other twenty-one players move spontaneously around them on a football-sized field.  The game is played in 360 degrees on the ground and in the air.  It requires speed. strength. endurance, agility, balance, affinity for contact, bravery in the face of 30,40, and 50mph balls, and the ability to concentrate for very long periods of time between breaks (no time outs).  And we haven't even started talking about all the different types of technique it takes to strike the ball...while the athlete is balancing on one foot...and trying to keep from falling while the defender runs hard and pushes hard, shoulder to shoulder.  It is different.  You will see.

30

General Soccer Talk * College Talk * HS Soccer Talk * Club/State Issues -R- / Re: PDL and Greed and the Dissolution of Select

« on: February 17, 2009, 08:08:36 PM »

BBD:  Soccer "development" has a bottom line:  it's all about the number of touches.  There are great athletes who play soccer.  There are great soccer players who are okay athletes.  But the combination of great athleticism and great playing ability occurs rarely, and not without an early start.